Doom Camp
by DeficientAtLife
Summary: Zim wants to conquer humankind, but to do so, he must keep a low profile. He cannot arouse any suspicions that might prevent his mission's success. That means, he must act like a perfectly normal human worm baby. To accomplish that, he must do as the othe
1. Chapter 1

Doom Camp

Chapter One: Science Camp?

"And then the sun will implode, raining fiery doom, and melt the Earth," Ms. Bitters concluded. The only response to this was the light snoring that came from Willy in the back of the classroom. Zim poked his eye lens, taking care of the itch on his retina. He never paid attention to this sort of thing. He knew all the horrific images of doomed doominess that Ms. Bitters fixed into the minds of the students would never happen, considering that the planet would be a pile of smoldering space dust by the time he was through with it.

He glanced up at the clock, and his heart leapt. Only a few minutes left before Skool was out. He was not the only one staring at the clock. Behind Zim, Zita was digging her nails into the desk, straining her neck to gaze at the clock. Torque was banging his head on the desk. Dib had his head propped up with his hand, falling asleep. Zim gritted his teeth. _Three... two... one!_

The bell rang, and everyone jumped up, some scrambling to the windows in a desperate attempt to get out. They were halted, however, by the searing voice of Ms. Bitters. "Don't forget to have your parents sign your permission slip for the Science Camp and bring it back tomorrow, as well as the assurance notice that they won't sue should any harm come to you, such as a bear eating your head, and whatnot." Zim halted in the doorway, and Dib smacked into him, sending them both sprawling to the floor. Ignoring the angry cries of the human, Zim got to his feet, turning to their strange teacher. "Science... camp? What IS this nonsense!" He demanded, treading on Dib's hand to step towards her. Ms Bitters narrowed her eyes at him.

"I explained this to the class two weeks ago, Zim."

"No you didn't! LIES!"

"Yes she did," murmured Dib, getting to his feet. "What don't tell me a human doesn't know what Science Camp is?" He added, smirking at the confused look on the Irken's face. Zim stuttered, and straightened his wig.

"Why... Of course I know what it is! I have merely... forgotten!" He stammered. "Sir, a reminder, if you will?" He inquired to Ms. Bitters, who growled, and handed him a pamphlet. Zim squinted at it. "'Camp... Fun Fun?' Who came up with that name?"

"I wouldn't know, Zim. Now, both of you GO HOME!" She shrieked, and shoved them both out of the classroom, slamming the door behind them.

Dib and Zim glared at each other, their eyes filled with loathing. Dib grinned. "Oh, I think you'll have fun at camp, Zim. There's plenty to do. Arts and Crafts, Scavenger Hunting, Hiking... _Swimming_!" He began to laugh as Zim's expression quickly changed from hatred, to fear. "And when I say swimming, I mean actually going into the water."

Zim growled. "I know what swimming means, big headed earth worm," he snapped, his teeth clenched. "And I will overcome this... this... 'Science Camp...' you PITIFUL humans seem to find so enjoyable. I will attend, and I will become the most Sciency... Campy... thing... EVER!" He said determinedly, and walked away. Dib laughed loudly.

"Yes, we'll just see about that, Zim!" He called after him. "After the week's over, your stupid disguise will be seen through, and everyone will see that I'm right! That I'm not--!" He was cut off as his sister, Gaz whacked him upside the back of his head.

"Shut up, Dib! We're going home!"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: Squigglies

"GIR!"

Gir did a sort of triple somersault out of the kitchen, and landed with a metallic thud, face first onto the tiles in front of Zim.

"Yes, my master!" He shouted, his eyes glowing momentarily red for a moment as he jumped to his feet, standing straight.

"I'm going to be in the lab for a while, studying about this... "Camp," thing. You, take this, and write a squiggly, or something that looks like a signature." Said Zim, tossing the permission slip onto Gir's head.

"I like squigglies!" Replied Gir, and placed the permission slip on his head, giggling like mad, and running into the kitchen to find a pen. Zim followed, rolling his eyes, and crossed the kitchen to the toilet. He climbed in, and pressed the flusher. He was spun around momentarily before descending into the lab.

The next morning, Zim rose up from the toilet, a strange, Irken sort of duffel bag in hand. "Well, Gir, I'll be back in a week. Take care of the base while I'm-- GIR! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"

"Drawing squigglies!" Gir squealed. And indeed, there were small squigglies everywhere, from the couch to the refrigerator, up the wall, and on the ceiling. Zim growled furiously.

"COMPUTER!"

There was an odd yawning sound, and an unenthusiastic, "Yeah?" from his computer.

"Begin cleaning process, immediately! I want this place shining by the time I get back!" He snapped through gritted teeth. "And you," he shot at Gir, who was now spinning on his head like a top. " You're coming with me. I can't afford letting you run amuck around the base without my supervision." He opened the odd looking duffel bag, and held it out. "Hop in, Gir."

"Just a minuuuute!" Gir said, and ran off for a moment... After a second or two, he came back with his rubber piggy, and dove headfirst into the bag. Zim rolled his eyes, and adjusted his hairpiece, then walked over to the front door, and pushed it open, stepping outside.

"Put your permission slips on my desk, and walk out the door in a neat, orderly fashion," Ms. Bitters said, pointing a clawed finger at the door of the classroom. The students tossed their permission forms on top of her desk, and scrambled out of the room, pushing and shoving to make it out the door. Once everyone was out, Ms Bitters swept the permission slips into the trash can in her desk. There was a burst of flames, and they were all disintegrated.

Once they were all outside in front of the busses, Mr. Elliot, who was also going on the trip, called out to the students. "Okay, kids! So, everyone needs to have a bus partner! During the trip to Camp K. Y., you aren't allowed to leave your bus partner's side. When we get to the bus stop, you're to make bathroom trips together, and get snacks together. Don't ;eave each other's sight! Kay?" Mr. Elliot beamed stupidly at them all, Ms. Bitters Towering next to him, a disgusted look on her face. "Now, go find your partners!"

The students erupted with shouting, and scrambling to find a partner. Penny immediately grabbed Olivia's arm. Spoo and Melvin practically banged heads. Mary and Sara were hugging each other tightly. Dib turned his head to look for Gaz, but she gave him a look that made him step back a few feet. He bit his lip. Keef had a partner, as did Torque. Mongo, Poonchy, Mathew, even Old Kid! He searched desperately, completely overlooking Gretchen, who was waving her arms frantically at him. He went rigid, as he heard Zim's voice shriek over the noise.

"INSOLENT FOOLS! Any of you should be HONORED to have ZIM as a "Bus Partner"!"

"Oh no..." Dib muttered, and turned around to look at the little Irken. And indeed, all of the students were avoiding him, just as they were Dib. Ms. Bitters raised an eyebrow, looking from Dib, to Zim. Dib shut his eyes tightly, waiting for the worst...

"Dib! Zim! You two are the only loners without partners," she snapped, ignoring Gretchen like everyone else was doing. "Pair up now, and shut up!"

Zim froze, and turned his head slowly to look at Dib, just as Dib did the same. They stared at each other for a moment. Then, at the same time, both shouted, "NOOOOOOOOO!"


	3. Chapter 3

Doom Camp

Chapter Three: Bus Ride of Doom

"This is an OUTRAGE! I AM ZIM!" Shrieked Zim, refusing to sit down next to Dib, who was already as scrunched up against the window as much he could manage. "I REFUSE to share my seat with that large-headed garbage child!"

"This is ridiculous," Dib muttered, slamming his head against the window. "And my head's NOT big!"

"Yes it is," said his sister's voice from the seat behind him. He blinked, looking back at Gaz, whose eyes were glued to her Game Slave.

"Hey Gaz? Aren't you too young to be going to Science Camp?" he asked, frowning. She replied with a shrug, and continued playing. Dib, shook his head, and turned back around. He realized that Zim had started a rant about how degrading this was to the almighty Zim.

"…idea of it is absolutely horrific! To think that I, ZIM! Would ever disgrace himself so much as to—"

"SILENCE!" roared Ms. Bitters, who had appeared at Zim's side, hissing like a snake. "Zim, if I hear one more word of complaint from you about Dib and his big head—" Dib made a sound of annoyance "—Then I will personally confiscate your legs! Do I make myself perfectly clear!" Zim immediately took his seat next to Dib, sweating profusely. "Good." She snaked her way back up the aisle to sit behind the driver, who was looking rather nervous as well.

"This stinks," whispered Dib, scooting as far away from Zim as the bus wall would allow. Zim opened his mouth to retort, but caught Ms. Bitters' eye. He paled a little, and shrank back in his seat, practically sitting in the alley so as not to come remotely close to Dib.

---o---0---o---0---

"OW!" cried Dib, as something hard collided with the side of his head. He glanced down next to him to see what the object was. A soup thermos. He growled, rubbing his head, and turned around in his seat. "Hey, who threw that! GAH!" He ducked as what looked like a light bulb sailed over his head. Zim snickered.

"Pitiful hyyu-man," the green boy said, grinning. "To be afraid of something like—AHH!" Zim dove under the bus seat as an open water bottle came an inch close to his non-existent right ear. Dib laughed, until a bottle of chocolate syrup splat against the window, sending flecks of chocolate splayed across his glasses. Dib ducked under the seat as well, coming face to face with Zim. They both moaned.

"Get your own shelter, earth monkey!"

"No way! I thought the 'Irken Elite' was supposed to fear nothing, alien scum!"

"Silence, you filthy dirt child!"

---o---0---o---0---

Author's Note: So, yeah, many thanks to the people who've submitted reviews. They really made my day! My life is complete; I can die happy now… Ahem. But yeah. Not much to say here. I'm experimenting with different… dividing… thingies… Because for some unknown reason, the last dividers I used didn't show up, so it's rather difficult to tell what's going on. Sorry about that. I'll see what I can do to fix it. Okay, I'm tired now. Bed time for me.


	4. Chapter 4

Doom Camp

Chapter Four:

"Hurry up, Big-Head," snapped Torque from behind him.

"Come on, there's who knows what all over the floor," Dib moaned, taking care not to slip in the gooey mess that had collected in the aisle during the bus trip. "I'll break my ne—YAH!" He felt a hand press against his back, and shove him forward. He managed to avoid falling face first into what looked like a spit wad the size of a basketball, and instead toppled out of the bus. He winced as he made contact with the hard dirt. "Ow… My head… OW! KNOCK IT OFF!" He cried out as Torque used him as a door mat whilst hopping out of the bus. He rolled out of the way of the next pair of feet, and hurried to a stand. He dusted himself off angrily, ignoring the snickers from the crowd of his fellow classmates.

"He's such a loser."

"What a freak!"

"His head's so big; it'd be hard for the ground to miss."

"That was a stupid insult."

"I hope he doesn't end up in my cabin!"

"Look, there's a waffle stuck to the bus!"

His eyebrow twitched with annoyance as he walked into the crowd of students, turning to face the head counselors who were calling for silence.

"Welcome, campers!" exclaimed a large, loud woman with frizzy red hair. "My name is Ms. J! I'm your director of activities around Camp Fun Fun. You're all gonna have a great time here, aren't ya!" There was a low murmur of acknowledgement. "Wonderful! Now, first things first, are Cabin assignments. There are four people to every cabin, plus one counselor. The girls cabins are on the west side and the boys cabins are on the east. Your counselors will call for you now."

A teenage girl with a large acne problem stepped forward, reading off her list. "Sarah… Mary… Gaz… and Gretchen." The girls walked over to her, Gaz's eyes glued to her Gameslave.

A chubby guy stepped up, reading off his list. "Torque… Old Kid…Mathew P. Mathers the III… and Mongo."

And so the process continued, until there were only a few students left. A tall, skinny guy, in his twenties stepped up. He scratched his head, which was covered in messy, black hair. He had several red stains on his shirt. Probably ketchup, Dib thought. He read off his list. "Melvin… Spoo… Dib… and… Zim."

Dib's eyes widened. "No… This can't be happening…" He looked over at the little Irken, whose jaw was open wide in disbelief. Dib moaned, and trudged over to the odd looking counselor. When the four students were crowded around him, the counselor smiled crookedly. "Hello there. My name's Johnny, but you can call me Nny if you like. I hope we can become good friends. We're in cabin…" He looked down at his paper. "M17. Get your bags, and let's go." Dib frowned. He had a feeling this wasn't going to be as 'Fun Fun' as the camp said…

…………………………..

Author's Note: Man, I'm sorry I haven't updated in so long. I've been rather busy lately. I'll try to update more. And for those of you getting all excited, because the infamous Johnny C. is in the story, calm down. He doesn't have a major part in the story… I just needed to come up with a counselor for them… Yeah… Thanks for your supportive comments, by the way! They're really helping.


End file.
